Randy Suits

Shopping with My Ewa

Dear Ewa, my marathon bargain shopper,

Time spent in a mall is wasted unless it is shopping with Ewa. It is fascinating to watch her search out, lift up items of clothing for inspection, place two items together to confirm a match, strategicly hold a sweater, blouse or skirt over herself while looking in the mirror, price check her initial choices (usually discarding one or two for reasons known only to her) and then ducking into those stalls where a woman tries on for fit, fashion, color coordination and function. During this sequence of events, she is completely oblivious to me or anyone else being present. What focus! What concentration! What splendid victory and dominion by the queen of my heart over merchants the world over. They bow to her and the minions just like her who dictate what they purchase again and display on racks, shelves and manequins. Then she emerges from the changing room looking great. She knows she looks great for I have noticed that she only parades by for my approval after she has found that perfect fit, color, fashion and all those other facits so important to looking her absolute best. This is so confusing to me for my eyes tell me that my Ewa is even more beautiful right now than ever before. Buying new clothes are necessary to her, but as I look at her through a heart which is filled daily with more love than yesterday, everything she tries on truly looks splendid to me. Then she always does it! She asks one of those terrifying questions that make a man shiver in his boots. ‘Which one do you like the best?’ (It’s hard to understand why she asks me because she will certainly purchase her choice.) Maybe it’s because my usual response is ‘why don’t we get them both or all three maybe?’ (Is this a cowards way out? No! It is just another step in watching her think through her choices and make the final selection.) Then she will put back one item and go to the checkout with one or at most two garments. It is all so exhausting to me but to her it is excitement and adventure. I love her for this. This is the wisdom and plan of the most High God. This is the only way a man can truly enjoy shopping; through the excitement and exhileration of the woman he loves. When she comes home and happily announces ‘It was on sale’ and ‘this one was half off’, I realize that she enjoys spending our money more than I ever could. Thank you my kochana for this! And thank you Lord for your plan. When we get home she tries that garment on again, only this time with the shoes, scarf, skirt, purse and sometimes jewelry. This is the moment of truth. The decision is never final until it has passed the home viewing test. Then I get to see her self fulfilled, satisfied look or that determined ‘this must be returned’ grimace. (I must confess this is a facet of kochana that I will never understand. All of her final selections look great to me.) And so one day soon she will return to the mall to return and try on more of the same, but the second time is not a time for me to go along. When I opt out, she returns to her quest and I know that she will enthusiastically relive the sequence again. As for me, I shall wait at home for her unending search for that item of clothing which will satisfy her search for perfection. Nothing is as fulfilling, satisfying, pleasing and perplexing as shopping with my Ewa.

The grace of the Lord Jesus Christ be with you now and forever, Kochany